Sunday, September 1, 2013

1st September 2013

It is unlikely that I roam around on a Sunday. With me attending most Sunday masses at the Sacred Heart cathedral, I left my parental church for seeable reasons that I couldn't turn a blind eye to. After the mass I love a quiet Sunday breakfast, all by myself. A plate full of brown bread sandwiches and chocolate cakes makes for the ideal Sunday breakfast. Do not know if solitude has adopted me as its only baby or do I love to watch strangers more often than earlier, to strike upon story ideas.                                                                                          
Today was on such amusing Sunday. After the mass I headed straight for the DLF place, Saket. With not many people sticking around malls on a Sunday morning it was indeed quiet and very very lazy. For that matter, I needed some time for myself. When I can sit by the edge of a table and think what needs to be done to nay say an old friend. It never did occur to me that some day, someone will like me for being rebellious. You know in India all such girls are likely to be labelled as "sexually promiscuous"  or "arrogant" or with some such word that defines a girl that is anything but not dutifully obedient. We Indians girls were taught to tie our tongues and jail them behind our teeth. Opinions need to be kept to ourselves and if they are ever expressed, may God help us. With such ancient culture staying fossilized in every speck of dust in this piece of the planet, women like me are the rarest of rare species whose loose tongues can land us in trouble. It has happened many times on earlier occasions having driven away guys interested in me miles apart, but this time around it was a surprise in store. 

A friend I have known, since the past five years happened to propose to me two Sundays ago. I recall how in a jiffy my world turned upside down. Don't know if the year 2013 came over to train me, to deal with "mini heart attacks"? Until now it had never occurred to me that anyone would come this far to take a liking for me. Let me credit my parents for not having made a matrimonial profile or ever shoved a prospective groom's picture into my brain, and let me have my say in such things. Although with my compulsive single status stretching a bit too far, even they are getting sleepless nights. And, I've never in my life posed as a puppet in a sari with a tray of coffee cups and snacks. And before anyone even dares to jump to the conclusion that I was let loose without a leash, as against how most Indian girls are treated, let me tell you it was because my parents were just like me in their hey days. Their marriage was a page straight from the Bollywood sagas of the 1970's and one can only imagine without blinking an eye as to why I became of this kind. An independent thinker who believers in her choices.

Coming back to the bomb that J threw on me, I wonder what should be the answer? Should I explain to him why staying single is a calling I listened to even before I could open the doors of my heart and bother to see if anyone was latching around. I am as nervous as a scared cat who has been chased by the big bull dog in the neighborhood  And who won't go back to the owner until the demon has been chained. I can't lie with conviction nor can I cook a lie in a flash. So false stories are out of question. What needs to be seen is what does he expect of me and how well I put forward my ideas about life. 
Marriage definitely never was being a porn star on bed and a microwave oven in the kitchen. And I want to stick to my ethos till the end.

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